the good the bad and the in-between

Blue Lady 2011

2011-01-13T19:36:00.000-06:00

Out With the Old, In With the New (2011)

2011-01-05T15:54:00.000-06:00

Let me tell you family that this life never ceases to amaze me. One minute everything is cool, calm and collective, the POW! Everything goes sour, but come on now at the beginning of the year?? REALLY?

My ex-boyfriend was and is a fugitive of my home state and he's been on the run for almost two years now. He has committed almost every crime possible that one can think of, including but not limited to impregnating a then 16 year-old and losing his child to become a ward of the state. Now the baby's mother is on the far end of the state I'm in childless, and this young man can now add Convicted Felon and Fugitive to the list of illegalities he's been a part of.

I'll tell you I'm partially responsible for some of this mess because I helped him avoid the Law; however, I did think that he would be cleared of the crime only if the baby's mother would be ruled by the courts independant from custody, AND that when he got busted for having some weed seeds in his pocket (less than a gram, which does NOT require more than a day in the county jail), I helped him to get his ish together and to be placed on probation, in which he violated to take his BM out of state to have give birth.

Bottom line, the relationship is now over and he could be facing serious time behind bars, all while his mother threatened that if I "broke his heart" she'd kill me. Literally! It all went wrong the first day he lied to me, telling me that he was close to my age when at the time he was only 19. It all went down-hill from there.

So, with all this said, ladies who are in the 25-30 age bracket: if you make a decision to play Stella and get yourself a hott young stud, do your research, and listen to the guy's family closely. If they have nothing good to say about the fellow then dearheart LEAVE HIM ALONE! Need I say more? I think not.

Please family have a blessed and safe New Year all the way to its end.

1.

About Business

2010-10-25T21:29:00.000-05:00

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Scheduled-Events-for-The-Kansas-African-American-Museum.html?soid=1103559897575&aid=xpXW44N6q24

2010-10-19T15:54:00.000-05:00

http://myemail.constantcontact.com/Scheduled-Events-for-The-Kansas-African-American-Museum.html?soid=1103559897575&aid=xpXW44N6q24

2010-10-07T13:18:00.002-05:00

ATTENTION KANSAS ARTISTS

I AM CURRENTLY SEEKING TO BUILD YOU UP IN A TEAM OF ARTISTS IN THE WICHITA AREA WITHIN THE FOLLOWING FIELDS OF VISUAL ARTS. DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?

• Drawing

• Painting

• Hand-Building and Sculpting with clay

• Graphic Design

• Airbrushing

• Fashion Design

• Card Formatting

• Tattoo Design

• Mixed Media

• Freestyle Art

• Glass Making

• Lithography

• Framing & Mat-cutting

• Nail Technology

A BUSINESS PROPOSAL FOR MY COMPANY LEE'S CREATION STORE IS UNDERWAY. THERE IS NO PHYSICAL LOCATION, THEREFORE YOU WILL BE WORKING WITH ME OUT OF MY HOME. I AM AN ARTIST THAT HAS LIMITED FUNDING, BASICALLY THE REASON FOR THE BUSINESS PLAN. I AM LOOKING TO ESTABLISH YOU AS A TEAM MEMBER OF APPROXIMATELY 38 PEOPLE THAT CAN DO ONE OR MORE THINGS ON THE LIST ABOVE. THIS MEANS THAT NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRMCUMSTANCE, YOUR INPUT IN ORDER TO MANIFEST A SUCCESSFUL ESTABLISHMENT WITH A LUCRATIVE PAY-RATE IS A MUST. AS OF NOW I AM NOT PAYING OUT ANYTHING BUT TIME AND EFFORT AND PATIENCE. AS STATED EARLIER THE GOAL IS SUCCESS. ALTHOUGH I AM PRETTY MUCH OPEN TO THE ART WORLD, I DO HOWEVER HAVE SET BOUNDARIES FOR MYSELF AS A FORM OF DEDICATION TO MY FAITH IN THE HOLY BIBLE; THEREFORE I PREFER YOU NOT ONLY TO HAVE THE SAME FAITH SYSTEM AS I DO, BUT TO BE WILLING TO VENTURE OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE.

o THE BENEFITS OF BEING ON THE TEAM IS:

o TRAVEL WHEN NEEDED

o HANDS-ON EXPERIENCE WITHIN THE ART COMMUNITY

o THE OPPORTUNITY TO PERFECT YOUR CRAFT

o EXPLORING OTHER FORMS OF ARTISTRY

o AND SO MUCH MORE!

CONTACT ME AT 316.806.4008 IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN VENTURING THROUGH THIS ENDEAVOR WITH ME.

STUDY BY LEE OF LCS (Lee's Creation Store)

2010-09-03T07:08:00.000-05:00

MyLikes - Setup Embed Widget

2010-08-20T09:51:00.000-05:00

MyLikes - Setup Embed Widget

PRIORITY FOR REPUTATION

2010-08-09T11:40:00.000-05:00

First giving honor to my Father God and the Holy Trinity as a whole, who has given me the strength to post this. Well, I've been thinking back many a day since these situations occurred, but I'll break it down in as few paragraphs as possible. Keep in mind that I DO take responsibility for my actions and this is why I am in the rut I'm in to this day. I've "acted out" in public places to the point where people in my town do nothing but laugh at me and treat me with the uttermost disrespect. I'm not saying they're all the way wrong, I'm saying they're partially right because they don't know the state-of-mind I was in at the time.

Now, back in 2000 (summertime to be exact) I shared a blunt with some people I thought were good people, but little did I know that they had ulterior motives in mind as why and how I contracted Pharyngitis, a form of bacteria that builds up in the pharynx in the throat, then works their waste to the inside of the tonsils in one's throat. I was so sick I thought I was going to die! So, one of my parents told me to wait for them to clock out of work to take me to the emergency room, but did I wait? Nope... I asked a neighbor for a ride to the hospital of my choice and I then found out my mother had just left from an exam. I was so afraid that this infection was going to kill me right then and there I got on my knees and prayed facing east and bowed down in the custom of most Christians and Muslims alike.

Then there were two nurses lurking in the shadows behind the front desk assuming they were watching the whole scenario, so they called in to security to take me to a hospital room. There I was told to change into a gown they provided me and to lay or sit on the hospital bed in the room (this is interesting to me: why in the world there was the number 19 on the top of the door is beyond me, especially that I was 19 years old at the time.). All-in-all I am remorseful for the situation happening as it did not because I am prayerful, but because I rarely paid attention to God protecting me back then. What's changed? Me, of course. My ability to have re-obtained a healthy prayer life with my Lord and Saviour has been and still is an honor as well as a blessing and to be able to share in peace AND with the peace of knowing that someone out there can and will be blessed by the mentioning of the fact that I am joyful in the Lord my God.

To make a long story short, I have survived this and many psychologically and emotionally hurtful situations to the point where I'm still able to breathe the breath of life just one more day. I am a testimony that God is able to move your life for the greater good, not the opposite. Besides: what the devil made for bad, I'm so so glad, God made it for my good.

It is quite unfortunate that most (not all) do not understand that in order for things to go well for people our wants, needs, and desires must, I repeat MUST LINE UP WITH THE WORD OF GOD. If it doesn't, well quite frankly, it won't last long if at all. This is why He tells us to ask for the desires of our hearts and we will receive: if it's a new anything, vehicle, job, house, family, peace, you name it... AS LONG AS IT LINES UP PEOPLE. Plain and simple as this. I bid you all a safe journey throughout the rest of this month, year and life and may the mercies of the Lord shine on you for ever. Amen.

S.H.A.D.I.N.E.S.S.

2010-04-30T00:01:00.000-05:00

S is for the simpleton that considers themselves wise,
H is for the hate in their heart that has not yet reached its demise.
A is for the audacities they obtain in the frame of mind they are in...
D is for the downfall the will come to realize from within.
I is for idlemindedness that will soon come to an end while
N is for negativity these possess to process themselves to be stumbling blocks in the paths of those whom do nothin but win.
E is the evil they maintain in order to prove themselves worthy of attention,
S is for sorrowful notions that carry on through obstacles they face but care not to mention...
The last S is for shame: once these people enherit this emotion they become more humble to kno,
That when troubles arise because of them they then understand they are no longer on the wrong road.

This is dedicated to the ones who allow possession from that of a dark place in life, be it from within or without themselves. These types of people are the epiphany of insanity for those who mean well. Until next time folks, be encouraged, for it's time to shine on.

Peace.

Racism in America: Episode One

2010-04-24T00:32:00.000-05:00

1ST DAY BETRAYAL

2010-03-25T22:36:00.000-05:00

It disturbs me to no end how I've gotten myself wrapped up in so much worldly things that I cannot even see straight. I'm having difficulty keeping focus on the things that I love the most. Which I pose this question to myself almost all the time: if I have so much faith, is it possible to allow these situations arise? I answer myself and say "yes and no." Please allow me to explain...

There's this man named--wait... Let's call him Andre. Andre has an alleged cousin, let's name him Antwoine. These two know my significant other. His name in this story is J.C and his brother Nick. All of these dudes know eachother--are you still following along? If so take a breather becuase here comes the rest. In the period that I and J.C. were seperated, Nick introduced me to Andre and his dad on the southside of town where I live. He lives just a hop-skip-and-a-jump away from me (on foot I don't know because man I'm a big lady and I really don't think I'd walk that far just yet again). So, in the event of the separation I took Nick on a ride down to S. City and he introduced me to Andre. Me, I was thinking DAMN, this brotha has it going on, right? He introduced me to his father and other people I care not to mention at this time, and basically we chilled out for a while. Several hours later it all went down-hill from there.

Not only did he keep me out all night until about 2:30 AM, he lied about his age and told me that he had a DL, in which I no longer believe it. He then decides on many, many attempts to manipulate me into believing I'm the one for him and he for me. So so wrong I was because while all this is going on in the first night I am thinking oh, my God, what is really going on here??? He keeps telling me he's not fake, he's not a liar, this and that and so on and so on. All while speeding on the highway blaring the music on settings made for a larger vehicle. All this going on and there are police at almost every turn as soon as we get off the highway! Child I almost lost my mind that night.

Then there was the time when things came up missing in my car. He claims to not be doing this nor his family members stealing from me, but the items never showed up (obiously not) and as time progressed SOMEONE STOLE MY DL Y'ALL! I'm like WOW for real?? Now what could someone want with my DL? Then come to find out my mate took it in what I thought was another angry spout, right? Wrong (I'll get to that later on). This jughead of an Andre wants to go on in the later days after we thought J.C. was out of the way to flaunt around town in my car and have the volume beating out windows as usual the next day we met up, this time he makes me wait all night long until about 1 in the morning until I had enough and went out searching for it. Low and behold the knucklehead was at home sleeping with my ride in the damned driveway! I'm thinking ain't this bout a b***h??? What the f*** is really going on here? He had the nerve to tell me without calling me and letting me know where he was all night and saying that his house was broken into (still kind of iffy about that situation too).

I wasn't home one Monday and I hear say that this dumby had the audacity to show at the place I lay my head at while my mother specifically told him and other people not to show up at the perimices (even tho I would bring my boo over to spend time. Hey what can I say? I've made my share of mistakes and am more than likely going to make some more so keep that in mind), or else she'd shoot them on sight. He didn't listen because there he was just knocking and banging at the door. Oh and before he got that he would show up while my mother was gone, go figure right? Basically he made several attempts to get inside the house and she kept telling him no. I believe there was an alterior motive to be honest about it. And this is strike 2.

Then there was earlier this evening when they decide to show up after robbing my mate's older brother via pistol whipping him and taking over $300 from him. Strike 2 1/2. Strike 3 comes into play after Nick asked me "politely" if I wanted to see Andre. I shook my head "no" and kindly took off, just in time to see Nick pull behind me and hitting me from behind at a stop sign. Then he goes west-bound on the main street and I go east toward the highway to get on and in traffic.

You see, 1st day betrayal is not necessarily all of what I thought it was cracked up to be. My advice is to look up to someone other than who is always in the streets. It's a waste of time and emotion. Simply put it's not what's on the outside that counts all the time and to meet someone like this can lead to dangerous outcomes, whether it be for you or for those around you, or even them or those around them. It can even happen right in your own town: so what makes you think online is any different or less important, you know what I'm saying?? Bottomline is this y'all: it's not worth the loss of a loved one to please one's self in spite of all the warnings and signs leading to a dead-end relationship. So whatever it is you feel you need to do, ladies, in order to love the one you're with, he must be really, I mean, extremely worth the sacrifices of certain things on this side of life. Think wisely and don't make the same mistake I did because "monkey see..." but monkey don't have to do.

P.S.

I think it's safe to say that as for my mate, he had my DL the whole time, and was intending on giving it back to me, in which he did, to ensure my safetly from Andre. :)

$100 HOOKUP (can't beat that for quality work)

2010-01-16T11:23:00.000-06:00

Missing You Poppa Benson...

2009-12-25T19:16:00.000-06:00

Not too long ago I dreamed a dream of a man sitting at the edge of my bed in my room, but my room wasn't the same... This was a restored room for lack of a better word, and it was very very bright, almost like summertime inside. This man was just sitting there and I remember him having the most beautiful smile on his face. Plus he had the deepest blue eyes I had ever seen in my life for a person of color. I know what you're thinking: now how in the world does she know he was a person of color??? I'll get to that in a minute.

It seemed like only a split second later that he took his left hand and rubbed my leg, and said the words Ill never forget: "Everything's gonna be alright Shugg." And as soon as he said that last word I knew that my father, Paul L. Benson, Jr., is in Heaven's waiting room in his new body, waiting for me and mama.

I thought I'd share this with you to say how great of a man Poppa Benson was. He was honest, didn't pull any punches when it came to telling it like was and he loved deeper than almost any man I know that still lives besides a small few. So with all this said, I believe we as Believers need never forget where we come from, and to always trust in the Holy Trinity with all our minds, bodies, and souls because when God is ready for you to receive your breakthrough, beit you know before hand or not, IT WILL HAPPEN BUT YOU FIRST MUST... that's right: BELIEVE.

TRU ADDICTION

2009-11-13T08:30:00.000-06:00

What is your tru addiction? Is it money? Materialism? Sexual desire? There are so many addictions nowadays it's really pitiful. Why? Because we strive more towards the vain self instead of the true self. We as a human race are more likely to fall victim to temptation than to naturally "do the right thing" and because of this fact we have not only let one another down, we've let ourselves fall by the wayside.

Yes, we make excuses as to why we think we need that particular addiction, but the bottom line is that our Creator isn't pleased with our inability to take heed of what is most important: survival in this life and in eternity. Sure your average atheist will tell you until they're whatever color in the face that there is no God. I totally disagree because why do we have the gift of choice if He didn't exist? Like the song implies: "nothing from nothing leaves nothing."

Case in point... We think we are doing it big when we hide behind closed doors to do our dirt-but in the end the truth will eventually be revealed BY APPOINTMENT, not because we can't hide it or whatever reasoning one may try to conjure up. Truth is inevitable and it can not and will not be contained. Nine times out of ten He will not say "don't tell the truth," or "truth do not reveal yourself" because He is not a man that He should lie.

I sense that whomever is reading this post is asking now how do you know all this? You're not an expert! Everyone has experienced at least once in their life regret, remorse or simply loss of faith. But the complexity of this issue is important for us to grasp the comprehension of simply because our existence as God's people is vital to our what? Survival? You guessed it...

UNDERSTANDING

2009-11-08T17:26:00.000-06:00

Although I'm not new to the world of blogging, I am a bit rusty at it so please bare with me as it has been a while since my last post on my old Myspace page, even though Twitter is not exactly what I would call the same thing. My thoughts are simple yet complex in many different ways: certain individuals who claim to know me will tell you a lot of bullsh**, something to keep your ears ringing for more to gossip about, but at the end of the day I'm... just me. I tend to go into deep mood swings, especially at "that time of the month," but to recover from such a dark place is a blessing in disguise many take too much of a negative advantage of.

Not saying I'm this perfect being sent from Heaven, but I believe that being human is a challenge I'm going to have to learn how to face-sometimes I have to learn this fact over and over again with each passing moment. I've also come to the realization that not only is time NOT on our side, we MUST learn how to make the best of the time we have available to us while we still exist on this old planet. We as humans have a tendency to complain about this and that, but when it all boils down to it, who can we really blame for our own foolishness and ignorance? The answer is simple: our own selves. We always want to find ways out of a situation that requires willpower and endurance, but do we (including me) really comprehend what it means to give it our all??? I mean really look at the greats who've passed over the years: MLK, Brother Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, Ghandi, the list goes on... Would you really expect them NOT TO TURN OVER IN THEIR GRAVES at this point in history? Let me put it like this: peace and freedom are not, and have never been free. We as a human race need desperately to grasp this before we... How should I put it lightly... Crossover.

Please please PLEASE don't let anyone tell you there is nothing after this... A wise man and I have come into agreement with this: psychology and spirituality go hand-in-hand. In other words, what any branch of the Christian faith teaches is that the battlefield begins in the mind, so there is no excuse for us as a whole to allow the whoas and darkness of the enemy to override our true potential. I'll close with this: if it were not for our creator we wouldn't have the truest gift of all besides love: the gift of choice.